All of Life Is a Compensation

I wonder if Becky May Stanton remembers offering this life truth.  We were on treadmills at the gym at the time, and I had covetously admired the fact that her shiny cloud of brunette hair just swirled into a thick, wavy ponytail as if she'd spent hours fixing that way.  "I want your hair," I told her.  She laughed and told me she wanted my figure (lies--she's gorgeous!), but that all of life is a compensation.  If she had my figure, she confessed, she would dress it like a floozy.  I considered this.  If I did have her hair, I would be vain about it and would put braids and pearls in it, just as The Good Book tells us not to.  So it really was best that we each had our own stuff.

Today has offered me just such a compensation.

Today I went for my very first mammogram.  Oy.  I had well and truly worked myself into a ball of nerves by the time I got there.  "SO much pain!"  "Squishing!"  "Bruising!"  "False positives!"  "False negatives!"  All the horror stories get shared among ladies, and I know a far-too-extensive number of women who have then had to deal with actual cancerous findings.  Bless their hearts.  I did all the googling before I went (someone should take away my laptop), so I knew that my dad's side's history of breast cancer would have to be shared with the doctor, and I also learned that women who have never had children experience a greater chance of developing cancer.  Ugh.  Luckily, Michele offered to tag along to my appointment, and her presence is very soothing.  She's been to a number of these appointments, and very calmly put all my fears to rest.  Knowing what to expect is always the way to handle fears.

I think what was most upsetting is that this particular first is associated with lots of lasts.  Last chance to live like a kid with no worries about aging body.  Last years of possible childbearing.  Last moments of youth, with its assumptions of clean bills of health.  See?  A person can go really dark, really fast.  But here's the thing.  It wasn't so bad.  I'd taken my ibuprofen before I went, I knew exactly what the machines would look like and how they worked, and forearmed with these preparations, it really was a painless experience!  Relief!  The nurse who did my tests led me all through the process, the room was softly lit, and the experience was clearly designed with a lady's dignity in mind.  Easy-peasy.  And the whole thing took about fifteen minutes.  Nice, Women's Breast Center of Carbondale.  Well done, you.

So since there had been this looming, uncomfortable appointment shadowing my day, I went to Ulta!  There, I purchased the gift I wanted to buy for a fellow birthday-girl friend, but . . . surely this day deserves a gift for self, too . . . .  So I gifted myself!  Look!

The Philosophy items, though, are replacements of Very Important Products I'd run out of, and a lady cannot live without cleansers and moisturizers and serums--especially if she is of A Certain Age.  So those were NOT splurges.  Merely replacements.  The gift, therefore, is my new set of sparkly eye shadows!  SO excited.  Am planning my outfit for tomorrow around my new eye shadows.  :-)  It's the little things that make a day sweet.

THEN, when I came home, the UPS guy had been to my house!!  An envelope was on my front porch!  Glee and delight and a quick trot through the house to go see my treasures--and it was the result of another First!!  This summer, on my Twitter feed, there was a contest to maybe win a trip to North Carolina to visit Jan Karon's inspiration for Mitford, the hometown of the characters in her Mitford series--which my book club and I just adore.  So I entered!  I'm not really a contest-enterer, so imagine my surprise that I came in second!  I didn't get a free trip to North Carolina (BIG bummer), but I DID get this awesome poster, which is a map of Mitford SIGNED BY JAN KARON HERSELF!!!  Regardez:



The postcard on the side is a note from Jan Karon's publisher--it refers to her newest book, and finishes with a hope that I visit "Somewhere Safe with Somebody Good"--the title to the new release.  Well.  That sounds pretty awesome, no?  Stay tuned--this poster and my personalized note will be framed and hung in my classroom and will be a testament to the fact that all of life is, indeed, a compensation.  Today, I was fully prepared, and had given myself permission, to verily wallow in worry and regrets.  But instead, I find myself perched on my couch, smiling at the fact that I'm in a pretty great mood.  A contest winner!  New pretties for tomorrow!  That's a pretty blessed way to finish this day.  This day that is a gift.  And the first of many like it.