More Homework!

This week, our assignment was to take pics of things that make us happy and things that make us sad.  Behold the happy:

Lazy Saturday Morning in the Fall with Coffee

Autumn Leaves in Elkville

Sunny Sundays

These are my happies so far.  Can't decide on the sads, but I'll definitely have them before class.  I carry my camera everywhere now, looking at all scenes in front of me as if they were going to be photographed.  For the first time, like, ever, I'm looking forward to the leaves changing--usually I cling to summer weather with all my energy until I'm forced to admit that cold weather is approaching.  Plus!  Adventures this weekend!  Details to come . . . .

Being a Grown-Up Is Lame Sometimes

Today was busybusybusy!  It started with my first hour boys getting on my nerves (ugh--high school boys cannot be immature that early in the morning and expect me to handle it well) and ended with a break-neck drive to Carbondale and then to Carterville.

The break-neck speedy trip to Carbondale was to visit my financial advisor so we could sign me up for a Newness--today, I purchased myself a life insurance policy.  Yeah, yeah, fiscal responsibility, blah, blah, good use of funding, blah, blah, blah.  Basically, I have rearranged some funds that I used to contribute to a 403b but will now be spent on a life insurance policy that will earn more in case I need it if the government of Illinois decides to steal all my retirement funds.  Mostly this means I will have less money for shoes right now, but I will be able to afford shoes in my retirement years.

Frankly, I'd rather have spent the evening ziplining or similar.

After the life insurance meeting, I had to hurry back over to Carterville to be on time for my photography class!  Made it just in time after a quick trip to McDonald's (where I bumped into Becky May Stanton and family!  [not sure what we even talked about--SO distracted by long wait at McD's and need to get to class on time...]).  I parked my car in the right spot like a good girl this time and blazed into the building to get a good seat, ready to learn the next skills and to show and tell my pics.  They got good review from the instructor--much relief!  And now I am to work on next week's project:  something that makes me happy and something that makes me sad.  Already, the thoughts are swirling . . . .   

But now, I need to spend some quality time with some tests.  May the students have studied hard enough to make the grading easy . . . .

Have FOID Card--Will Travel

Wouldja look at that?!  I have a FOID card!  I applied for this card way back in early August, thinking that if I were approved, I would have another New Thing to claim on my list.  First time owner of a Federal document that allows me to own a firearm.  Huh.  Didn't see THAT coming a year ago.

Not that I plan to become armed any time in the near future, mind you.  It's just that now I CAN if I want to, and there's something very Annie Oakley about that.  I'm named after Amanda Blake from Gunsmoke.  Wondering now if she carried a gun.  Hm.  Forty may usher in a whole new Wild West stage for me.

Part of me is intrigued by the potential of shooting at a target practice site--maybe Dad will show me how?  It could be another New Thing . . . .  But part of me is also a little intimidated by holding something in my hands that can--and is designed to--take a life.  That's powerful.  No idea what it will even feel like, and it is important, I think, to be emotionally ready for something like that.  I don't want to feel afraid of the experience, but I know I will always have a healthy respect for the fact that I'd be handling a bona-fide weapon for the first time ever.  Most people enjoy it; I imagine there's an element of empowerment in handling a dangerous machine in the palms of one's hands and using it skillfully enough to make it do what it is designed to do.  It'll be annoying if I can't hit the target with accuracy--but on the other hand, how heady will it feel if it turns out that I'm a sure-shot?? 

I'll keep you posted on any new developments with my FOID card adventures.  In the meantime, I'm headed to Netflix to see if Gunsmoke seasons can be found . . . .

Homework!

Okay!  Spent a goodly amount of time this morning, playing with my camera to try to create the effect of fancy giant cameras on my Nikon Coolpix S6500--I think I did pretty well (toot toot! [that's me, tooting my own horn!]).

First, I wanted that sharp-focus-up-close/blurry-in-background effect that my instructor was able to achieve in his nature pics.  Coveting the artistry of his photos, I played with my manual focus features I didn't know I had . . .


Yellow Cheerleader Sale Mums Against Neighbor's Fence

Last of Pink Roses in Front of Other Neighbor's Yard

Fern on Porch With Neighborhood in Background

So!  Work in progress, but I think I could do this with monuments and family pics in Ireland next summer with better results than point-and-shoot pics--my camera is TOO smart--it puts everything in focus until you trick it into making fuzzy backgrounds . . . .

Next assignment was to play with natural light with no flash from inside a house.  The light was weak this morning, so that was disappointing, but I think there's just enough sunshine to capture Sophie's features:

Princess Sophie Marie Contemplates Nature

I'm hoping the sun comes out this evening, as the kitties will lay in the sunshine in the sitting room when that happens, and they'll be all kinds of photogenic back there.  In the meantime, here's a pic of Dino, so he doesn't feel left out of my photoshoot:

Dino Martin Expresses Curiosity Over Little Red Camera

Stay tuned!  If the sun comes back out, I'll go play with more camera settings, but at least I have enough to share with the class on Tuesday if it doesn't.  We'll see what the day brings!

Say Cheese!

Tonight was my photography class! And I think I parked illegally!  There was a lovely spot open RIGHT in front of Building H at Logan--score!!  Parked the car, gathered up my supplies, waltzed into the building to encounter a sign:  "THE FIRST ROW OF PARKING SPOTS ARE RESERVED FOR INSTRUCTORS.  NO EXCEPTIONS."  Hmmm.  To go move the car or not to go move the car . . . .  I determined that a class that starts at 6:00 p.m. was definitely an exception.  I think this exception was an acceptable exception, no matter what the sign said.  Decided to find my classroom with a little prayer that my car would be there where I left her . . . .

I was a little nervous, having missed the first night; I arrived not knowing where to sit or what was going on already or what handouts I needed, but it became clear that I was not the only newcomer, so I felt better right away.  The first thing I noticed was that this class could very easily be called All the Geriatric Folk of Williamson County Try to Figure Out Their Fancy Cameras.  But to be honest, I knew immediately that any questions I have, I am free to ask, and that was immensely comforting.  Questions ranged from, "How should my aperture be set in order to purposely blur the background but not distort my subject's arms to be too big?" (Yikes!  Aperture??  Consulting my manual . . . ) to "So what does this little lightning bolt on my camera mean?" (I looked--mystery lightning bolt was the flash button--I knew that one without the manual!).  Also they can't whisper.  Which is hysterical.  If the instructor wanders into new territory, the students start whispering loudly and beeping all the buttons on their cameras and lights flash and wives grab the cameras away from the hubbies and the prof cannot hear ANY of it, as he is hard of hearing.  I am going to LOVE the stories that come out of this class.

I took copious notes with lots of question marks--I'm going to have to locate my camera manual and bring it with me next time--but I'm excited!  We have homework!  I think.  The instructor threw out about half a dozen ideas for pics we can try, but the students kept interrupting and asking questions, so I'm not entirely sure what the final assignment actually is.  No big deal.  I had ideas for all his half a dozen suggestions, so I think I'll do them all and submit the best ones.  I'm excited to try all of them!  I'm hoping for sun this weekend to play around with lighting and flashes and ISO settings and so forth.  I hope Dino and Sophie are having good hair days, as I have big plans for them as My Subjects. 

Still Life of Pencil on Notes

So.  Verdict:  class is confusing!  But fun!  I'm afraid I'm going to want more camera stuff . . . .  Better save my pennies!!

Addendum:

Today was a little scary at work; I talked with my boss about some thoughts I've been having regarding my extra duties.  I think I've determined that it's time to consider laying down my Scholar Bowl Coach mantle.  But I'm not entirely sure--I've loved that team since I got it back in 2001 . . . can I let someone else lead them?  Encourage them?  Defend them from other coaches and moderators?  Not sure . . . .   But maybe I'll pick up something new?  Something that I can use my newfound photo skillz?  Stay tuned . . . .

Addendum #2:

My car was still there.  Safe and sound.  No exceptions, my eye.  ;-)

We Interrupt This Program to Report a Bummer

Ugh.  This week was supposed to be my first photography class!  I was so prepared, too--had a notebook and pencil packed, my camera was all charged, I had written down the class section number and classroom door number, and I was SO EXCITED to get there!

Alas.

It was not meant to be.  Sometime during the morning class hours, I developed a small headache.  No big deal; I work with teenagers.  Sometimes there are headaches.  By lunch, my headache was upgraded to a migraine, complete with floaty spots and stabbing pain over my left eyebrow.  Dadgummit.  I went home right at 3:30 to nap until 5:00, thinking I could still make my class by 6:00, but my head and stomach had other plans. 

Big bummer.

But now, armed with new info on how to actually take my meds properly, I am ready to try again next Tuesday!  Hope my instructor doesn't make me serve detention or anything . . . .

All of Life Is a Compensation

I wonder if Becky May Stanton remembers offering this life truth.  We were on treadmills at the gym at the time, and I had covetously admired the fact that her shiny cloud of brunette hair just swirled into a thick, wavy ponytail as if she'd spent hours fixing that way.  "I want your hair," I told her.  She laughed and told me she wanted my figure (lies--she's gorgeous!), but that all of life is a compensation.  If she had my figure, she confessed, she would dress it like a floozy.  I considered this.  If I did have her hair, I would be vain about it and would put braids and pearls in it, just as The Good Book tells us not to.  So it really was best that we each had our own stuff.

Today has offered me just such a compensation.

Today I went for my very first mammogram.  Oy.  I had well and truly worked myself into a ball of nerves by the time I got there.  "SO much pain!"  "Squishing!"  "Bruising!"  "False positives!"  "False negatives!"  All the horror stories get shared among ladies, and I know a far-too-extensive number of women who have then had to deal with actual cancerous findings.  Bless their hearts.  I did all the googling before I went (someone should take away my laptop), so I knew that my dad's side's history of breast cancer would have to be shared with the doctor, and I also learned that women who have never had children experience a greater chance of developing cancer.  Ugh.  Luckily, Michele offered to tag along to my appointment, and her presence is very soothing.  She's been to a number of these appointments, and very calmly put all my fears to rest.  Knowing what to expect is always the way to handle fears.

I think what was most upsetting is that this particular first is associated with lots of lasts.  Last chance to live like a kid with no worries about aging body.  Last years of possible childbearing.  Last moments of youth, with its assumptions of clean bills of health.  See?  A person can go really dark, really fast.  But here's the thing.  It wasn't so bad.  I'd taken my ibuprofen before I went, I knew exactly what the machines would look like and how they worked, and forearmed with these preparations, it really was a painless experience!  Relief!  The nurse who did my tests led me all through the process, the room was softly lit, and the experience was clearly designed with a lady's dignity in mind.  Easy-peasy.  And the whole thing took about fifteen minutes.  Nice, Women's Breast Center of Carbondale.  Well done, you.

So since there had been this looming, uncomfortable appointment shadowing my day, I went to Ulta!  There, I purchased the gift I wanted to buy for a fellow birthday-girl friend, but . . . surely this day deserves a gift for self, too . . . .  So I gifted myself!  Look!

The Philosophy items, though, are replacements of Very Important Products I'd run out of, and a lady cannot live without cleansers and moisturizers and serums--especially if she is of A Certain Age.  So those were NOT splurges.  Merely replacements.  The gift, therefore, is my new set of sparkly eye shadows!  SO excited.  Am planning my outfit for tomorrow around my new eye shadows.  :-)  It's the little things that make a day sweet.

THEN, when I came home, the UPS guy had been to my house!!  An envelope was on my front porch!  Glee and delight and a quick trot through the house to go see my treasures--and it was the result of another First!!  This summer, on my Twitter feed, there was a contest to maybe win a trip to North Carolina to visit Jan Karon's inspiration for Mitford, the hometown of the characters in her Mitford series--which my book club and I just adore.  So I entered!  I'm not really a contest-enterer, so imagine my surprise that I came in second!  I didn't get a free trip to North Carolina (BIG bummer), but I DID get this awesome poster, which is a map of Mitford SIGNED BY JAN KARON HERSELF!!!  Regardez:



The postcard on the side is a note from Jan Karon's publisher--it refers to her newest book, and finishes with a hope that I visit "Somewhere Safe with Somebody Good"--the title to the new release.  Well.  That sounds pretty awesome, no?  Stay tuned--this poster and my personalized note will be framed and hung in my classroom and will be a testament to the fact that all of life is, indeed, a compensation.  Today, I was fully prepared, and had given myself permission, to verily wallow in worry and regrets.  But instead, I find myself perched on my couch, smiling at the fact that I'm in a pretty great mood.  A contest winner!  New pretties for tomorrow!  That's a pretty blessed way to finish this day.  This day that is a gift.  And the first of many like it. 

I'm a Survivor!

Ta-da!  Had my 40th birthday day and have lived to tell the tale!!  I had  pretty great day, actually.  Church (as always) was good (scored some garden tomatoes, even, at Sunday School, and some cards from pals), lunch was yummy (mini pizza with my fave toppings from Alongi's!), and then I had a get-together with some friends to finish out the day with girly drinks and movies and chatting.  Delightful!

We had actually started the celebrations the night before with dinner at Bennie's in Marion followed by presents and cake!  No holiday that comes with presents and cake can be all THAT bad, right?  Dinner of pasta con broccoli finished with Italian Crème Cake is pretty much my dinner of choice every year, so my people know the drill and they humor my need for rich, creamy comfort foods.  My family and friends are the actual best.  :-)

I don't want to brag about my presents, because that would be tacky.  But.  I am currently wearing and looking at all my lovelies, and I would be REMISS as a WRITER if I didn't set the scene.  I have on my new LeVian smoky topaz and rose gold earrings that sparkle and are PERFECT--except I can't see them unless I pass by a reflective surface.  Like the mirror in the china hutch.  And the bathroom mirror.  And the bedroom mirror.  And my tablet.  And a spoon.  And the phone.  And the windows in the kitchen when it's dark outside.  These surfaces also make it easy to see my new necklace, which is also pretty sparkly.  But it is important to know that I smell good, too--Michele gave me a bottle of Philosophy Amazing Grace perfume, because she is precious and noted that I love Philosophy bubble bath, and that is my favorite scent, so now I can smell like Amazing Grace anytime I want without taking a bubble bath.  She also got me a new lunchbox that matches my new classroom--so SO adorable!  On my mantle, if you were here, you would see my birthday flowers and a pumpkin candle from my dear friends, too.  Thus concludes my tacky bragging.  :-)  I am a blessed lady!

I have been ambivalent about turning 40 for about a year now, if I'm being honest, and the ambivalence lasted all the way to the Big Day.  Milestone birthdays have a way of making one take stock of, well, life.  And while parts of my life make me ridiculously happy--my mom and dad and friends are, seriously, the best people on the earth; I wouldn't trade any of my people for new people, even if they offered me a tiara; my career is exactly what I dreamed it would be as I taught all my dolls all my best kindergarten skillz; my health is good; etc., etc.--there are parts of my life that are woefully unachieved.  I would love to say that I have gained some perspective and complete inner peace about all of this, but I would be fibbing.  I'm working on inner peace.  Maybe it'll be a side effect of my Amazing Grace perfume.  Stay tuned . . . .

BUT!  I have a newness to report!  Ahem.  I have broken up with my old gym.  Well, to be perfectly honest, we're on a break, as I reserve the right to start up our old relationship if nothing better can be found.  But I am actively seeing other gyms.  Jen and I have some gift cards for Gold's Gym, and while I don't want to speak ill of my trusty, beloved gym, there are signs that I need to explore my options.  Signs like the power strip with the short in it that RUINS my DAY when the fans won't work by the elliptical machines.  Signs like dirty surfaces and inconsistent machines and unreachable wifi and smelly smells.  Ugh.  So.  I did my last workout there on Saturday and turned back in my key and ID number, after ten years of faithful attendance.  I do feel attached to that gym, since it sort of saved me; I started going there after Camille's accident, when I couldn't eat and couldn't sleep.  There, I discovered that working out made me hungry and sleepy after the day was over, and a lot of my healing and good days came from endorphins released on a treadmill.  And while I still need those endorphins and there is nothing more cathartic than a good sweat after a long day, I need to find a place that is kept up a little better and is maybe a little closer to home; so Gold's is my first new candidate.

Our first date went pretty well.  After the initial nervousness of walking into a totally new environment, Jen and I found all the high-tech cardio machines (with promises of EVEN NEWER ones coming--ones that hook up to our iPods and have a digital screen!), the free weights (which I will almost assuredly never use), the weight machines (which I do like!  --They have a weight machines room just for girls!  There's even a sign!  "Women Only" right on the door.  Feels like Spanky and the Gang were there, only for girls instead of the He-Man Women Haters Club), and a room for classes!  There's a pilates/tai chi class that looks interesting to me, but Jen has concerns that she'd have to be too quiet in classes like yoga and pilates; I have complete faith that while she will undoubtedly have a running commentary for the entire experience, she *can* keep it to a quiet-ish whisper . . . .  We'll see.  I'll report back on this.  ;-)  We did make use of this AWFUL stair-stepping machine for about five minutes with the resistance set so high that my caboose can still feel the burn and then the elliptical machines for about 30 minutes, so we had a great sweaty workout.  Jen threw a mile or so of the spinning things into her workout, but my nether region is NOT a fan of the spinning, so I politely declined and went straight for the ellipticals.  So far, I'm a fan of this new gym.  And while I'm not willing to say that my old gym and I are done forever (the price was soooo right . . .), it looks like this new gym is going to make me a very happy and fit lady.

So clearly the best thing to do after a good workout is to ruin all your good work by going to the movies and having dinner at Steak-n-Shake--which is how I would end all my workouts, if it were possible.  Michele and I made the most of our Labor Day off by seeing Begin Again and enjoying movie popcorn followed by yummy sandwiches.  The movie was cute and the food has hit the spot and the conversation was, as ever, exactly what we both needed.  I'll be going to bed with a full belly and happy memories and a to-do list full of new things coming up this month!  It's been a lovely weekend, and I am so thankful to the ones in my life who made it so lovely.  :-)